Monday, 29 July 2024
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Hello. All is well. God is love.

In my previous entry, why did I need to say that actual doing is my goal? One reason may have been to justify myself. Another reason may have been that I want to walk the talk. This can be tricky, but I believe we can better understand our motivations if we notice how our imagination frames our perception, which includes our thoughts.

Going back to my model of the mind, III, we have intuition, intellect, and imagination. I've mostly been talking about interactions between intuition and intellect, so I'd like to talk more about imagination, as this is where I believe the highest order of agency exists.

Now, remember that this model is a simplification. The mind isn't literally boxed into three parts with clear boundaries. They are interconnected, coming together as one seamless experience or perception of reality for us.

In my 37th entry, I described myself as having two sides: the monkey and the human. Interestingly, a little later (42nd entry), we learn that autistic people describe themselves as having two parts: an acting self and a thinking self. This resonated with me.

I don't think I explicitly wrote it in my writing, but in the emotion construction book, the author wrote something to the degree that autism may be caused by synchronizing hubs in the brain not working ideally. While I don't know the specifics of this, it is an interesting explanation. It resonates with the idea of one's acting self and thinking self not fully synchronizing, causing the effect of experiencing them as two different parts to varying degrees.

Working with this explanation, if we say you have a brain with smooth synchronization between intuition and intellect, you may find it harder to notice the distinction if you don't pay close attention. Of course, this is a speculation. I can only speak from my own experience, but it resonates with my experience interacting with other people.

I'm talking about this because I'm giving you an explanation of where my III model comes from. It seems to match my personal experience, but it may not resonate with you because your brain creates a more seamless experience. Again, I'm speculating, of course.

As I said, I have mainly discussed intuition and intellect. However, I realized I was missing something regarding social reality and imagination. I had initially put it in intellect, but putting it in its own box makes more sense.

Our imagination is what I think has caused the insanity of my life. How I always felt it was pretending. It was never natural to me. That is because my brain doesn't seamlessly integrate imagination into my intuition. That's my current theory, and it makes sense, at least how it comes to be experienced. But I think autism is more complicated than that. As I said in my 47th entry, we have many senses and how they come together. I find autism is possibly an all-encompassing label for when they noticeably come together differently than for the typical person. This writing wasn't meant to discuss autism, but I felt it was necessary to explain where I derived my model.

Now, let's talk about imagination. I've been talking about perception. What exactly do I mean by that. It's pretty much how you experience reality. We probably think of vision as the primary part of it, if you're not blind, of course. Anyway, these are simply stimuli in their most tangible form for us. Our perception has much more depth, it's just not a visual or tangible thing. For example, when we see a traffic sign or hear a car honking, our imagination is a big part of what we perceive.

I didn't get to talk about imagination much, but I don't want to rush too much as my brain is starting to become impulsive, heh. I'll write about it later.